Dear the People of the United States of America,

Dear the People,

I recently read an article about the possible ‘gay gene,’ or the very plausible idea that there is a biological reason for homosexuality. Now, isn’t that what we want? It proves to the world that being gay is not a choice. Arguments supporting homophobia are toppled. But then, many know that, like racism, homophobia is an irrational belief. Will such proof keep them at bay?

The article I was reading included a viewpoint that scared me. I was shaking. If there is a biological cause, or a ‘gay gene’ as he likes to say, how easy would it be to eradicate this trait? Every morning I wake up with a sadness. Every night I go to sleep with it. The sadness is from the fact that being gay is just so hard. In this world it takes so much energy. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t gay. But when I look at it, I love being gay, and I’m proud of it. I realize then, that what I wish is that homophobia didn’t exist, and that gays and straights could live peacefully together, without any convictions.

The possibility of not being gay scared me so much. It was the last thing I wanted. In that moment, and in the moments I am typing this post, images of another world are flashing before my eyes. It’s a world where sexuality doesn’t matter. I like the world. I want that world.

Martin Luther King brought around a world with racial equality. Maybe it’s not at complete equilibrium, maybe it will never be. One man, and a people who believed in him, brought about this change.

Harvey Milk wanted change. He didn’t live long enough to see anything happen. Well, he wouldn’t have, assassination or not. We need to be unafraid to bring about this change. America is ready. The world is ready. I know that I was tired of hiding. I know that I am tired of being alone. I know that the closeted are tired of hiding, and I know the out are tired of being alone.

America was founded on the minorities. It’s history and it’s place in the world has it’s foundations on the blood of the minorities. We are the minorities of the 21st century. It’s time we leave that status behind. Let’s not be alone any more.

Straight or gay, spread this message.

Field Guide to the Straight BFF

The straight best friend.  Always a dilemma.  On your yearbook, last year, she wrote BFF.  Best Friends Forever.  You wrote the same thing on her year book.  The keyword?  Forever.

Obviously, you don’t want to lose that best friend.  Here’s your logic: You come out to her.  She hates the fact you’re gay.  She doesn’t want to be your friend anymore.  I’ll admit that sometimes it will be like this.  This isn’t a math problem.  In the real life, 3+2 doesn’t equal 5.

But let me ask you a couple of questions.  Does your friend know any gay people?  Your friend liked you fine thinking you’re straight, right?  ‘Nuff said.

Most of the time, a person so against homosexuality doesn’t know any gay people… at all.  They are uneducated about it, and gays are almost a whole other species to them.  Find the documentary called Straight from the Heart.  The majority of the interviews are with straight people.  One couple had a gay son.  He was the first person in Idaho to die of AIDS.  The couple was Mormon.  The interesting thing was that the father said this…  He said he became more open to homosexuality.  Through his gay son, he found out that gay people are smart.  They’re funny.  They’re fun to be around.  He found out they’re just like straight people.

What I’m trying to get across is that if your BFF is really your BFF, she’ll realize that the gay thing is only one thing.  It might be uncomfortable at first, but I’m sure she’ll come around to realize that you haven’t changed at all.

I know there’s an underlying fear of being alone in coming out, not just losing your best friend.  Yeah losing your best friend will suck, but not so much if you have a safety net.  It won’t hurt so much if you have something – or someone – to fall back on.  Other gay people maybe, people who won’t reject you for your sexuality.

Though every situation differs, I hope what I’ve written helps you decide on whether or not you decide to come out.  In all honesty, I encourage it.  It’s the only way we can bring about change for us.

For any Tafties who might be reading this: Don’t worry.  When I came out I knew I was going to be alone.  But I came out so that no one else would have to be alone.  Don’t be afraid to come out of the closet…  You won’t be the only one.

Of Curveballs and Bisexuality

It’s been a while and I thought I’d jump in with the topic of bisexuality.

“Who do you play for?” Everyone says.  “Pick a team!”  In terms of sexuality, I would not describe myself as bi.

But how do you define bisexual?  It’s controversial, I’ll admit.  Some people say it exists.  Some people say it doesn’t.  What do I believe?  I believe that everyone is inherently bisexual.  That’s right.  I’m bi, and the guy next to you in math class is bi, and guess what?  You’re bi too.

Maybe you understand, maybe you don’t.  I believe everyone is bi, in that there is a scale, so to speak.  The most extremely straight of straights would be 99% straight and 1% gay.  The most gay of gays would be 99% and 1% straight.  Of course some straights might end up scoring an 80% “straightness”, or a 70% “straightness”.  And homosexuals might end up with 60% “gayness” or 90% gayness.  It all depends on the person.  I suppose the absolute true bisexual would score about a 50-50 on this scale.

Bisexual, gay, straight…  They’re all really just labels.  Sometimes we hate them because they confine us.  And yet they can be that source of comfort, that the label, at least, makes us somebody.  It helps us define ourselves.  I say that everyone is bisexual.  There’s a curveball.  Well, in life, unlike baseball, you almost never get a fastball.  Life loves to throw a curveball.  In short, the world is grey.  And like the little scale of bisexuality I created, the world is in different shades of grey.  It’s never just black and white.

Don’t hate.